Let’s move past this. Let’s go to a land far, far, away where the Penguins are sitting on top of the Eastern Conference, Sidney Crosby is running amok over the NHL, Marc-Andre Fleury, Max Talbot, Ryan Malone, and Sergei Gonchar are not injured, where Jordan Staal is on pace to have another 30 goal season and gives 100% effort every night, and where Sid has wingers who can play with him.

Listen, there are problems here. The main problem is that the Penguins cannot win consistently against divisional opponents. They’re only five points out of first place, with this much time left in the season, it’s jumpable, but in order to make that jump over four teams, the Penguins have to start winning some games against the Flyers, Devils, Rangers, and Islanders.

There are other problems, too. You can point to all the statistics and players you want, but the real reason why the Penguins aren’t winning games they should is that they’re power play sucks. The Penguins earn more chances on the P.P. than any other team in the league, and they’re only converting at a 19.6 % rate.

If the Penguins are going to make the playoffs, and this humble blogger still remains convinced that they will be there, their powerplay has to be at least eight percentage points higher. It has to be converting at 27% at least. Looking at the Penguins squad, there is no reason why this shouldn’t be possible, and it has to be possible for the Penguins to start winning games.

Forget about acquiring players, forget about all of that non sense. It is, and always will come down to the power play. There have been games where the Penguins have had numerous power play opportunities, and if they were producing at a higher rate, those games could’ve been blown open and won.

Not every night will the Pens rattle off two or three on the man advantage, but it has to happen consistently enough for the Pens to start winning games.

The changes I would make?

Quite simply, Kris Letang needs to be on the first unit. The right handed shot is so important to the scheme that the Pens use. It gives them one timer opportunites on both sides of the ice, not to mention that Letang has earned his way on that unit. Drop Ryan Whitney down to the second unit, and have him paired with either Gonchar (who can play all two minutes), or Scuderi or even Orpik.

They also need to quit dumping the puck. Paul Coffey never dumped the puck. So much of the power play is about puck management. When they dump the puck, there is too much time wasted retrieving and setting up. Right now, Gonchar is usually the man with the task of lugging the puck up the ice. I’d delegate that role to Letang. They need to have possession established when they enter the offensive zone.

They need to try and score on the rush. What they do right now is the hockey equivalent of Pitt Basketball’s half court offense from three years ago. It’s boring and predictable. They need to catch these teams off guard and utilize the skill and speed they have up front with Malkin, Crosby, and Sykora.

The key to success for this team lies in the man advantage. It’s just that simple.

Other Stuff

Chris Simon got a 30 game suspension for stomping on Jarkko Ruutu’s ankle last Saturday night. This isn’t the first time. Last year, he was suspended for 25 games for a horrible slashing incident. Any Penguin fan worth their weight in salt should be very familiar with Chris Simon and his antics, given that he was a mainstay on the Washington Capitals in the late 90’s when the Pens used to beat them like they were immigrant children.

Ryan Malone has a leg infection. Huh?  They may need to amputate.

The last time the Penguins had a season this disappointing was back when George Bush I (prequel to madness) was President. 1989-90. They missed the playoffs after losing the last game of the season to the Buffalo Sabres in overtime off a Uwe Krupp goal. I remember as a six year old listening to that game on the radio at my Grandmother’s kitchen table.

I ate chicken wings and got the runs.