…the injury walrus IS Paul.

Skating into Newark, oh yeah!

Malkin and Staal trying to make ends meet, yeah!

Looking through glass hockey puck (My unending apologies to John Lennon and Paul McCartney).

How, oh how did the Penguins win this game?

The odds were stacked against the flightless birds. That pesky injury walrus has been a gnawin’ at their wingers, reducing them to Brooks Orpik at left wing.

They were facing the stingy defense of those Jersey Devils as well as the stingy goaltending of Marty Brodeur.

Marty did make some spectacular saves, but his sister-in-law must’ve been in the stands tonight and he got distracted. I’d fuck my sister-in-law if I had one, so I suppose I can’t fault him for that.

They won this game on blood and guts. That’s how they have to win all of their games. They won it on special teams, scoring multiple power play goals.

They won because Jordan Staal scored a goal. They won because Evgeni Malkin is a beast. Otherwise known as the Siberian Express, or Death From Above.  Evgeni Malkin is Ivan Drago, except in our own little version of Pittsburgh Rocky IV, the big Russian is the good guy and that pesky little scrapper, in this case, Brian Gionta, is the bad guy. He may or may not be Italian, but his name ends in a vowel so it’ll have to do.

They won because Ryan Malone played the consistent brand of tough nosed hockey he’s been playing all season.

They won because, damn it, they had to.

Next is Hotlanta, Terminus if you will. Hell, Atlanta is fun as hell. Go out there and win one for the Gipper.